An In Between Post: Motherhood

This Motherhood Thing

by Jessica Peill-Meininghaus

This Motherhood thing- it's my favorite part. 

It's messy as all hell.

It's loud and it gives you sticky fingers.

It smells lovely and god-awful in turn.

And it leaves scars-

stretch marks like silver cracks in your lining, throughout your body.

It makes you cry

and laugh

and scream

and throw up-- because it's a ride-

A brilliant, terrifying ride. 

You will never love anyone as much as you love those children. 

Ever.

You will give everything to them 

and they will take it 

And both thank you- and curse you- for it. 

They will say "I love you!" and "I hate you!" 

And you will absorb their words like a sea sponge 

while the waves crash over you 

taking you with the tide of this thing;

this adventure-

this terrifyingly, marvelous journey called Motherhood.

You will have moments when you can't wait for them to grow up

And, sometimes simultaneously, you will want them back in the womb,

Tucked away in the safe folds of your body; a snail in its shell.

You will be wrecked and rejoiced in turn. 

Your body will house them (or not), 

be their climbing wall, 

their jungle gym, 

their food source, 

their trash receptacle

their pack mule

and their safe place. 

You will be Mother and that will be the most difficult, tumultuous

And utterly wondrous experience you will ever have.

This Motherhood thing- it's my favorite part. 

It breaks me and puts me back together.

It lights me up and coats me in the deepest darkness that I have ever known.

And through everything the one thing that chants itself in my ear-

through the extremes, 

all the twists and turns-

is that never have I wanted to be anything more- or less- than this.

Yes.

This Motherhood thing?

It's my very favorite part. 

Period.